19 November 2012

an ode to girlfriends

I cringe when I hear women say anything along the lines of, "Ugh, I hate girls. They are so obnoxious. Women are crazy. They are so dramatic. I just don't get along with girls, ya know?"

If you don't get along with most women, it's probably because you suck. (A corollary to this would be, "If you don't get along with most people, it's probably because you suck.)

I'm serious about that. If you consistently don't get along with other women, it's probably you. You may be  a pain in the ass, or just generally unpleasant to be around.

Aww. My college gals and I back in 2006. We're on a roof, rebuilding in Pearlington, Mississippi after Hurricane Katrina.

I've been feeling really grateful for the women in my life and I want to shut down the idea that women are "just so crazy, ya know?" and that "being one of the guys" is somehow better. It's not. It's cool if you can roll comfortably in typical guy arenas. You love football? Like throwing back a few beers? Wonderful. I don't care much for football but I do like a good beer, so we may have something in common. It's just that I've never aspired to be "one of the guys". I enjoy being a lady, thank you. I don't need to be one of the girlfriends/fiances/wives who is soooooooooo cool because I never get offended by offensive jokes and I'm sooooooooo laidback. Truth is, I am offended by offensive jokes and I care about a lot of things, but I think I'm still a real hoot to be around.

Sister & I after an epic weekend at theMixTape Festival this summer.

I like spending time with my girlfriends, my sister and my mom. I like chatting with them, laughing, sometimes sniffling a tear or two... I like being around them. They fill an important role in my life.

I care about women's issues- otherwise known as societal issues- like equal pay, breaking glass ceilings and protecting women's health. So, I like having gal pals and gal family and I am passionate about advocating for the rights of all gals and ladies. We should all be lifting each other up, not cutting other women down and stereotyping each other as an over-dramatic, hyper-emotional gender. Agreed?

And this is all coming from a woman whose best friend is a guy and who, ya know, is also marrying a really awesome guy soon. I also have a fairly small circle of close female friends, as opposed to a group of 30 sorority sisters that share every detail, so I'd like to think I'm coming from a moderate place on this issue. Guys are great. They make wonderful friends and husbands and such. I would just like to see a little less cutting down of women and gaslighting of women (look it up) and the promotion of inferiority complexes in women. Yes?

Ha! My high school ladies and I rocking our senior prom photos. I'm holding a bouquet of rhododendrons that my mom cut from our backyard because the flowers we ordered turned out heinous. I would also like to note that I would wear my prom dress again if given the opportunity.

I've had this post written for awhile, but knew I had to post it this week because a few days ago my mom and sister threw me the most special, magical, intimate bridal shower tea party for the three of us. We get together for dinner on an almost-weekly basis and this week they set up a frilly tea party for me. With a corsage. And scones with clotted cream. And tea sandwiches. It was perfect. It was also a reminder of how very content I am to be girly (though I don't hold it against you if you aren't quite so frilly, I just happen to be a very femme feminist) and to value time with my ladies as much as I do.


  1. :) You are an amazing person. I feel pretty lucky to know you and be uplifted by your energy and insights. We women are good for each other that way, I think.

    And, I agree, our men are pretty neat-o too.

  2. love this. let's throw a party and rewear our dresses. ...except mine strikes me as sort of boring now, so maybe I'll get something sparklier. <3<3

  3. So sweet! My Mom will be down here soon for winter (she comes to TX to escape WI winters) I can't wait to start bonding in person again...

  4. agreed. You have to be a good friend to have good friends.

  5. I am slow clapping this so hard. Why is only having guy friends an accomplishment? I don't consider myself very feminine, but I love my lady friends. Not because we have the same parts but because, ya know, they are cool people who support me and build me up.

    And, having lived in a house full of male sailors, I can assure all the ladies guysare no less dramatic.


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