09 January 2013

our wedding, the important part

In case you missed it, I'm sharing a little bit about our wedding here on the blog! First, read about our planning and wedding details here.

Onto the important part. When Chris and I decided to get married, we really prioritized the actual wedding ceremony. Because that's when the good stuff happens, right? The promises, the commitment, the husband and wife (or husband and husband, wife and wife) part, the rings... it's all there. We worked with our amazing officiant Alina to design a sincere, meaningful ceremony.

Chris & I walked up the aisle together as long-time partners and companions and supporters. My sister read us a piece by the Dalai Lama and we had another reading from a letter by Vincent Van Gogh. We chose not to write our own vows, but instead chose vows and readings that really resonated with us but that had, in one way or another, stood the tests of time even though they weren't ultra-traditional. We asked our families to make their own vows to us in support of our marriage. We were pronounced husband and wife. Husband and wife! Eek! We gave out lots of hugs and there were tears, of course, and giggling and laughing.

We were married at the Albany Quaker House. One of us- we can't remember who- suggested it because all summer long we had been picking up our CSA vegetable shares there. We brought in a few things the night before to decorate the meeting room- vases and jars with beautiful flowers, jars with tea lights, a banner & a wonderful wedding wreath my mom made for us.

Afterwards, we took a few photos with our fantastic photographer Heidi. We wanted to have something to look at to remember how we looked, how we smiled and how we were on our wedding day. We wanted to have keepsakes that we can look back on in twenty, thirty, forty years and say, "Look at those crazy kids." We were glad not to look at most photos until we were back from our honeymoon, though, so we could really lock in what had just happened without being distracted by what it looked like. We wanted most to remember what it felt like. (For those wondering, it felt magical, lovey dovey, normal, crazy, exciting, huge, comfortable, happy and, when we were taking photos outside, very very cold.)

It was a very special day. But something I loved about our wedding day was how normal it seemed, even though we knew it was in fact, a crazy and bold thing we had signed up for. But on our wedding day, we did so many normal things. I did yoga. We ironed and steamed our outfits while still in our pajamas. I tried doing yoga in my wedding dress but found that it was, in fact, a bit restrictive.We had family over for breakfast. We brushed our teeth. We drove ourselves to the ceremony and tuned the radio. We ate lunch at a restaurant. We drove home to change and collect our things for the honeymoon. We took a road trip. We listened to podcasts. We did all of these normal things on a very out-of-the-normal day.

We made a promise to each other to be legally bound through marriage, to stick together no matter what, to work it out, to join that "vital social institution" so eloquently defined and defended for all loving couples in Goodridge v Massachussetts. We gave it an incredible amount of thought and consideration before deciding to marry. We waited until it felt absolutely right for us. And then we went for it!

I have just another small batch of photos to share, from our lunch celebration. Thanks for indulging me these wedding posts :) You can read about our short engagement and some of our wedding details here and see our wedding announcement here. (Update: Read about our lunch celebration here and our newlywed party photobooth.)

Photos by Heidi Benjamin.


  1. What a beautiful accounting of the magical day when you took to heart all the possibilities a loving, committed married live can be. SO well written. I cried, naturally. I love the way you tell YOUR story. It is significant!

  2. so refreshing :) puts a lot of things into perspective for me as i stress about ours coming up. thank you.

    1. We can't wait for your wedding! I know it will be magical.

  3. I think this might be one of my most favorite blog posts of all time! It's so real but magical at the same time...that's how it should be! Congrats to the two of you!

  4. Just by looking at these photographs makes me feel how this couple love each other. Well, they sure are, they wouldn't tie the knot if they aren't, right?

  5. Even if both associates execute, the individual find singles who gets house first should at least begin food preparation, assisting the kids with planning and so on.

  6. I love the dark wood, the beamed ceilings, and the overall sort of great vibe of the building. The manager also suggested doing a signature cocktail during cocktail hour, which turned to be a huge hit.


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